Working on a Fatty Bear Spoof Video

[JanieEP]

Hi, everyone. I have this hobby where I record footage and audio from video games and splice things around until I make something funny (at least to me) out of it. Currently I'm working on one for Fatty Bear's Birthday Surprise. So far I've only made and uploaded a small portion of what I intend to do. If you want to see that video, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_CAN3e5SrA

Reason I'm posting here though is to get feedback. The small amount of active subscribers I have don't seem to want spoilers. So, if any of you want to help me out, give me input, let me know what you think, I'd very much appreciate it. I'll be posting work-in-progress stuff to my public Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/EggerPub/

What I'm working on right now is locking in the script for the rest of the story. I'll put what I have in a reply so as to reduce quote spam.

[JanieEP]

Fatty Bear Script Outline
It's basically a demon possession/Groundhog Day storyline with a flippant main character and a lot of room for goofs in between.

1. Fatty Bear gets up and out of bed.
2. Gets in an argument with Matilda.
3. Leaves the room to go poop.
4. Messes up the bathroom.
5. Looks for his weed nugs in the laundry shoot but falls in.
6. Gets spat out at the bottom and doesn't know how to leave the laundry room.
7. Opens the utility closet, breaking the warding sigil on the door that reveals itself for a moment.
8. A ghostly demon gets out and starts possessing the household objects (making their animations trigger, basically).
9. Fatty Bear finds his way out of the laundry room.
10. Walks by things getting possessed. “This is fine” type attitude.
11. Fatty Bear goes back to the room for some reason.
12. Demon possessed mouse clock.
13. Mouse clock is too stupid to know what the demon is bargaining with him about.
14. The demon gives the clock the power that it wishes, to make sure Kayla has a good Birthday.
15. Rewind tearing on the screen.
16. Fatty Bear is back on the bed.
17. Kayla’s cheek pops in plain view, and she feints.
18. Fatty Bear says, “Well, at least I don’t have to poop anymore.”
19. Gretchen confronts Fatty Bear.
20. Matilda throws him under the bus.
21. Argument resolves for now.
22. Montage where Fatty Bear does a bunch of weird stuff.
23. After a few repetitions, he just wants to play video games.
24. Passes by the puppy to go to the attic.
25. Gets pissed at the mouse and kicks in the door. Tosses the mouse out and boards it up.
26. Matilda pushes open the door and bothers him. “You should have listened to me, Fatty Bear.”
27. “Man, I don’t give a shit. This just gives me more time to git gud (wreck these fools; something like that).
28. Mouse comes in and squeaks incessantly.
29. “God, fine!”
30. Gets the stuff. Does some half-ass cake decorating.
31. Room is decorated like a birthday.
32. Puppy comes in and fucks up the cake.
33. Gretchen says, "Alright, Plan B."
34. The lights go out, and it looks like a ritual.
35. Gretchen says things in reverse.
36. Demon is being sucked out of the clock.
37. Dad barges in during the incantation
38. The demon ping-pongs around the room
39. Matilda explodes
40. Kayla gets corrupted (red eyes; deep, echoey voice)
41. Force-pulls dog to her.
42. Normal ending, but dog looks scared, and Fatty Bear farts.

[JanieEP]

I’ve uploaded Part 1.
https://youtu.be/w_CAN3e5SrA

Still hoping to make a follow-up. Let me know what you guys think (criticism, ideas and such).