favorite gaming quotes?

[delimew]

i looked around, and there didn't seem to be a topic like this already, so i'm sorry if there is.


anyway, since many scumm games are known for their good quotes, i was just wondering what some of your favs are. course, good quotes from other games are cool too.

[eriktorbjorn]

course, good quotes from other games are cool too.

This one struck me as pretty funny:

>EXAMINE SPONGE
[Which sponge do you mean, the blue sponge or your brother-in-law Bob?]

[clem]

I'm 1337 enough to invent my own quotes!

you can quote me on "inane chatter? why not post in the junkyard forum?" - clem

[clone2727]

I'm 1337 enough to invent my own quotes!

you can quote me on "inane chatter? why not post in the junkyard forum?" - clem

"Why yes, I can move it" -clone

[Arantor]

Hmm. This is a toughie. These aren't exact quotes, they're from my memory...

Bonus points to anyone who identifies the speakers!

Sam & Max Hit the Road
"Oooh, does this mean I get to kick some puffy white mad scientist butt?"

Maniac Mansion
"Perhaps I should have tied you to my bed!"

Day of the Tentacle
"This thing is perfectly safe?"
"Of course!" (Bernard, Hoagie and Laverne grin)
"This is the first time I've ever tried it with people!"

The Secret of Monkey Island
"Maybe I should just drop-kick you into the lava?"
- and of course most of the sword-fighting insults!

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
"But did she have one of these?"

The Curse of Monkey Island
"Die? As in, me, dead?"
- and of course most of the sword-fighting insults!

Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade
"X marks the spot!"

Indiana Jones & the Fate of Atlantis
"I'm Dr Indiana Jones PhD, is that scholarly enough?"
- and of course the entire bit with Alain Trottier...

-- Non SCUMM games --
Beneath A Steel Sky
"You're not going to watch, are you? ... I always suspected you of being a voyeur!"


I can't think of any others right now though but I think those are my favourites.

[glokidd]

This one isn't necessarily my favorite but its still a pretty good one from full throttle

in Todd's basement, when looking at the "art" made of a tower of what looks like beer cans Ben says:

"That would make a good mailbox post...In HELL!"

[3Yenman3]

Full Throttle:
"If you're still alive, boy, you're under arrest"

Though you can quote any line in a SCUMM game and its great.

[bobablob]

I like almost every response you get in Broken Sword after showing an interviewee the soiled napkin.

[md5]

IMDB has a list of quotes from many games:
IMDB MI1 quotes
IMDB MI2 quotes
IMDB MI3 quotes
IMDB MI4 quotes
IMDB DOTT quotes
IMDB Indy 4 quotes
IMDB Full Throttle quotes
IMDB Sam and Max quotes
IMDB The Dig quotes

SCUMM bar too:
SCUMM bar MI1 quotes
SCUMM bar MI2 quotes


I got many favorites (as you can guess, my most memorable quotes were from MI3):


The secret of Monkey Island
LeChuck: Ye are glad to be dead, RIGHT?
Bob: Oh yes sir. I feel so lucky that you happened to capture my ship, then murder me and everyone on board... yes sir... lucky.
-------------
[In Meathook`s house. Note that Meathook is totally hairless]
Meathook: You don`t know when to stop do you?
Guybrush: Well, obviously neither did your barber.


Monkey Island 2
Herman Toothrot: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, what color is the tree?
[The player must now go through 40 or so answers before finally being allowed to select:]
Guybrush: All colors?
Herman Toothrot: Exactly. Now, what has this experience taught you?
Guybrush: That philosophy isn't worth my time.
Herman Toothrot: I'm very impressed. It takes most people years to reach this point.
-------------
Rapp Scallion: Violets are blue. Roses are red. We're coming aboard. Prepare to eat lead.
-------------
Guybrush: I'm on a whole new adventure.
Pirate: Growing a mustache?
Guybrush: No, Bigger than That
Pirate: A beard?!?


The Curse of Monkey Island
Cabana Boy: Let me see your membership card and I'll let you through!
Guybrush Threepwood: You don't need to see my identification.
Cabana Boy: I don't need to see your identification.
Guybrush Threepwood: I'm not the pirate you're looking for.
Cabana Boy: You're not the pirate I'm looking for.
Guybrush Threepwood: I can go about my business.
Cabana Boy: You can go about your business.
Guybrush Threepwood: Move along.
Cabana Boy: Move along, move along... hey! Your mind tricks won't work on me, boy!
-------------
Edward Van Helgen: What! You shot my banjo!
Guybrush Threepwood: You can't be sure of that. That shot may have come from the grassy knoll.
-------------
Elaine Marley: You know... I don't think my father would approve of me dating the undead, and you're probably too nice a zombie-pirate for me anyway. Let's just be friends instead.
-------------
Elaine Marley: Let's face it, LeChuck. You are an evil, foul-smelling, vile, codependent villain and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now.
LeChuck: Darn yer riddles, ya saucy female! What d'ya mean?
-------------
Murray: I am Murray, the invincible demonic skull!
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: How can you see without eyeballs?
Murray: How can you walk around without a brain? Some things no one can answer.
-------------
[Guybrush meets a talking skull]
Murray: I'm a powerful demonic force! I'm the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike!
Guybrush Threepwood: Stride?
Murray: All right then, roll! ROLL through the gates of hell. Must you take the fun out of everything?
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: Do you know anything about lifting curses?
Murray: Oh, right. I know a lot about lifting curses. That's why I'm a disembodied talking skull sitting on top of a spike in the middle of a swamp.
Guybrush Threepwood: You seem bitter.
Murray: I'm sorry. It's been a rough day.
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: Ha-ha! Taste cold steel, feeble cannon restraint rope!
-------------
Lemonhead: You fool! You've given cheese to a lactose intolerant volcano god! Do you know what that means? You've brought about the Coming of the Divine Dysentery! Run for your lives!
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: You're about as fearsome as a doorstop.
Murray: Is it a really EVIL-looking doorstop?
Guybrush Threepwood: [sigh] Never mind.
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: You can count on me, Wally. Just as soon as I defeat LeChuck, rescue Elaine, set all the monkeys free, and ride the Madly Rotating Buccaneer, I'll come back to release you.
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: The Diamond belongs in a museum!
King Andre: So do post-impressionist paintings, Mr Threepwood. So do post-impressionist paintings.
Guybrush Threepwood: What the heck is that supposed to mean?
King Andre: Some day you will understand.
-------------
Kenny Falmouth: Can I interest you in some shrapnelizing ammunition designed to bring exquisite pain and unreasonable suffering to all your enemies?
-------------
Guybrush Threepwood: [singing] Oh... there's... a... monkey in my pocket / And he's stealing all my change / His stare is blank and glassy / I suspect that he's deranged!
Edward VanHelgen: Words! I need more words! My grasp of the language is not sufficient to describe the violent renching nausea you're singing has caused me to experience
-------------
[Many characters claim that Skull Island is in the shape of a skull. When the island is finally shown, however, it more closely resembles a duck than a skull]
Guybrush Threepwood: It should be called Duck Island!
Welshman: Well if you turn your head and squint...
Guybrush Threepwood: If you turn your head and squint it looks like a bunny


Day of the Tentacle
[after pushing Edna down the stairs]
Bernard: You know what they say: "To save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs."
-------------
Dr. Fred: I think I've made myself totally clear, Step one: Find Plans, Step two: Save World, Step three: Get out of my house! Let's get cracking!
-------------
Hoagie: Bernard, float over here so I can punch you.
-------------
Bernard: You have a machine whose sole function is producing toxic waste?
Dr. Fred: You can't have a high-tech laboratory like this and NOT spew poisonous filth! All the other mad scientists would laugh!


Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis
Indiana Jones: [while exploring the Crete labyrinth] Some date, huh?
Sophia Hapgood: We're not dating Jones; this is not a date, if it was a date, I would've stood you up!
-------------
[about Sophia]
Klaus Kerner: Jones was a better man than I thought, if he could tolerate HER!


Sam and Max Hit the Road
Max: Why don't I get an inventory?
Sam: Where would you keep it?
Max: That's none of your damn business, Sam.


Full Throttle
Bartender: The customer with a knife is always right.
-------------
Ben: I may lie, and I may steal, and I may rough some people up from time to time. But it's all for a good cause: Self Preservation.
-------------
Policeman: If you're still alive, boy, you're under arrest.
-------------
Ben: The weapons you pick up along the way help. At least they help you do less talking.


The Dig
Boston Low: Did you do anything to attract that monster to you?
Maggie Robbins: I don't wear perfume, and heaven knows this outfit isn't exactly alluring. I was just sitting there.
Boston Low: I guess that's enough.
Maggie Robbins: That's usually enough for lonely men in bars.
-------------
Boston Low: [after opening a mechanical door] So what is through this door? A death trap? A mad scientist with a pretty girl and a talking robot? An alien cafeteria? Why am I just standing here? After all, as Brink found out, the worst thing that can happen is you can take one wrong step and you're dead.
[He walks through the door to find an empty stone platform]
Boston Low: So much for the cafeteria idea.
-------------
Boston Low: [after both Robins and Brink have left him] I'm beginning to take this personally. Nobody wants to stay with me. Maybe it's my deodorant. I think it failed somewhere back there on Attila.
-------------
[a little rodent steals a machine part, causing an open door to shut tight]
Boston Low: The way things have been going, I can pretty much bet that whatever that little beast just stole, I'm gonna want it pretty badly in a minute or two.
-------------
[the rodent steals the machine part again, causing the door to shut, locking Boston inside the room]
Boston Low: No! Why is that door closing? He didn't steal that part again, did he? I'm trapped in here?
[He watches through a crack in the wall]
Boston Low: There he is, that same little thief, holding onto the part he just stole. I'm warning you! You better not be laughing at me, because I'll have roast critter to eat before I starve to death in here!
-------------
[Boston has resurrected the Creator]
Boston Low: He's very tall. Or I'm very small. I wish I didn't keep thinking of the term 'Bite-size'. Please be friendly. I hope you're friendly. I'm certainly friendly. Let's all be friends.
-------------
Boston Low: Another one of these engraved sticks. What are they, wands, batons, bludgeons? Maybe some kind of hand held computer game. With my luck, it's a hand grenade.
-------------
[a large lobster like creature blocks Boston's path]
Boston Low: If I go there, it's lunchtime. *His* lunchtime.

[Nolendil]

Curse of Monkey Island

Palido Domingo : "I make my living off the hard work and talent of others."
Guybrush Threepwood : "You're project leader on a computer game?"

(Quote might not be exactly the same as in the game, I typed it from memory.)


I work in the game industry and my project leader keeps boasting about our project in front of the bosses although he is highly incompetent, so this quote did sound very insightful

[john_doe]

From DOTT:

"George says that every American should have a vacuum cleaner in their basement."

It's the only one I can remember and bring up occasionally as insider-joke

[clone2727]

Most of my favorites have been mentioned except this one from CMI:

Guybrush: Aha! Five-of-a-kind. Not even you can beat five-of-a-kind.
King Andre: You're right Mr. Threepwood. But, the question is: Can you beat a pair?

From memory as well

[Kaminari]

Bernard: "Hey, there's something stuck on the floor... Mmm, spearmint. My favorite!"

[Adventureguy]

From Broken Sword 1:

[When George tries to leave the explosion scene, Seargent Moue comes and draws his gun]
Moue: Freeze! Hold it right there!
George: Woah - don't shoot! I'm innocent! I'm an American!
Moue: Can't make up your mind, huh?

[iPwnzorz]

Beneath a Steel Sky:
Mrs Piermont: He plucked me from the garden of INNONCENCE!
Robert: I know what you MEAN, the memories ARE PAINFUL.
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Blunt: She is the RICHEST woman in UNION CITY. And the UGLIEST.
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Judge Chutney: Howard HOBBINS, you've WON todays STAR PRIZE... LIFE IMPRISONMENT. Any comments from the DEFENSE?
Robert: This is CRAZY, I can't BELEIVE this is HAPPENING!
Judge Chutney: BUT, because of your SERVICE to the city, I'm going to REDUCE your sentence. 2 HOURS COMMUNITY SERVICE.

Ratchet: Gladiator:
Gleeman Vox: It's time to blow @!#"! up!
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Ratchet: So Metropolis still in... one... peice? Oh!
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Al: I've seen it 17 times and I still don't get it! With all the numbers and the kicking and the guys in suits...
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Ratchet: I've always wondered what it'd be like to be a real live gladiator, they have all the money, the fame the *giggling* babes.
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Dallas: Ever wondered what's in the special sauce?

Broken Sword 1:
Whats-his-name: I wonder what they'll find?
O'Brien: Well it won't be ruins and skeletons they'll be diggin' up, probly -I don't remember- and flavoured -we'll leave it at that, yeah?-
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Irish Landlord: What? Kids in the bar? Parties, pimples and puke!
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I have plenty more, but no time to post them all!